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If you are somewhat familiar with computers and the internet and you have used both, Mozilla Firefox and Microsoft Explorer you will have noticed how some webpages open up differently with one as opposed to the other. I am not a programmer and I am sure that there is an E = MC squared type of reason for that happening that I would never under stand.
Which brings me to my point of how you can tell if you really get along with your partner. Just like the two computer programs operate with different undering code so do people. How often have you been involved in a conversation with someone and you bring up a subject along with your opinion on the subject and everyone else suddenly becomes quiet. It makes you feel awkward because you know it must have been something you said but you just can not put your finger on what it was. Then as a result you become quiet or start asking what you said wrong.
The problem is that you did not really say anything "wrong." You added your opinion into a conversation that you were having with people who obviously had a different opinion than yours but were afraid to say because their opinions may not agree with the others in the group. Now, while your opinion may be an excellent one to thousands of people it is not to the ones that you are with. It seems that as we age these differenting opinions or hang-ups become more exaggerated. I really do not know the reason for this except maybe it is just that the different opinion always existed with the person when they were younger and now after they have been out in the world for a while they become less tolerant about anything other than their own beliefs. So their undering code, like in the computer programs was there all along it just needed to be accesses or triggered.
The very same thing occurs in relationships. When a couple are too quick to rush into a commitment they run the risk of not having a happy relationship because they never really got to know their partner well at all. That is why you really need to keep the pace of your relationship slow and steady. After all, when you first start dating someone you are on your best behavior and you are real careful that you do not say the wrong thing to upset your partner and damage the relationship. That is fine when you first start to date someone you naturally want to have a good first impression. It only becomes a problem after you and your partner are together for a while. Sometimes the veneer wears off and the real personality shows itself. When that happens if you and your partner do not have a compatible underlying "code" you will have problems that you may never be able to fix. You can not change someone's personality and they can not change yours.
It's not easy to try and sort through people to find the right one for you. It's not like picking out a car, but you have to find out how your partner or prospective partner really thinks and feels about things that are important to you and they have to know how you feel about things important to them. The best way to do this is to just talk to each other without any other distractions, especially physical contact. Physical contact while you are trying to have a meaningful conversation will throw you off track and you may not be able to get back to what is important and that is getting to know your partner. A big red flag that I have run into several times is someone who only wants to talk about "happy" things. They consider anything other than fun to be depressing.
I do not know about you, but real life does not work like that. There are good days and there are bad days and you are going to have to support each other through both. Another innocent looking potential problem is when you are having a heart-to-heart talk with your partner and you are talking about something important to you and your partner replies "whatever!" You definitely do not have a meeting of the minds on that subject. While it is unrealistic that you will have a meeting of the minds on all issues you need to have a high percentage to really be happy with your partner. You need to know that after you have been out dealing with the world and the frustrations that it can cause, you can go home to your partner fully confident that your partner will understand you and as long as you have that nothing else really matters. Find someone who understands you and you will greatly increase your chances of being happy.
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