Lelli Kelly Shoes – Taking Me Back

Oh what I wouldn’t give to be young again. There’s little these days that offers me greater pleasure that casting my mind back to my childhood years, allowing myself to drift lazily off into a world where the only responsibility I had was feeding and cleaning out my hamster’s cage once a week. It’s as if I’m there right now. Oh how good it would be to smell the pungent pong of urine soaked sawdust…

Unfortunately, due to lots of boringly complicated and technical reasons, the likelihood is that we will never be able to revisit our childhood years. Sure, Einstein said that time travel was theoretically possible, but let’s face it, so are the chances of Liverpool winning the Premier League. Yes, it is technically possible, but we all know it’s never going to happen.

But this morning I’ve been offered the one off opportunity to become a little kid again, so if you don’t mind and promise you won’t kick up a huge fuss, I’m going to become, once again, a tiny wee bairn for an hour or two. The procedure doesn’t come cheap, good lord no, but I feel that the experience will be a more that worthy one.

Right. Here I am. Ok. I’m now really rather jealous. It’s all very well and good being a little boy in this day and age, but I kind of wish that when filling out the form for this particular escapism product, I had ticked the box that would allow me to be a little girl rather than a little boy. As a result I’m now a six year old lad with a pair of scruffy trainers, when I could have been a female version wearing a supremely superior pair of Lelli Kelly Shoes.

Great, I’ve spent a small fortune on allowing myself to be a child for an hour or two and all I’ve ended up with is a pair of scabby knees and a severe bout of shoe envy. Brilliant. It’s not as if I’m being unreasonably envious either, as you’ll understand fully if you take a minute out of your no doubt busy scheduled to have a wee ponder at the latest styles on offer from Lelli Kelly Shoes.

I don’t think I’ve ever in all my days encountered or even imagined a range of shoes so eye wateringly cute. It’s almost as if they purposefully added some kind of secret ingredient; a highly dangerous experimental substance that is hugely addictive to human eyes and creates a ferocious longing, an insatiable hunger and a deep and meaningful desire far beyond anything I have ever experienced.

As soon as I return back to my original size and stature, the first thing I shall do is hold up a shoe shop and demand they make me adult sized Lelli Kelly Shoes, a Lelli Kelly cardigan and at least three bags of Lelli Kelly sweets. In fact if they just make me some regular sized shoes, but ensure that they are made out of marzipan and hundreds and thousands I’ll be reasonably happy with that.

It’s going to be a long couple of hours, so I suppose I should really try my best to make the most out of this interesting and hitherto relatively impossible experience. I suppose it really isn’t every day that one is offered the chance to revert to ones childhood form for a brief period.

I’m sure I’ll have fun climbing trees and cleaning out hamster cages, but if I’m as honest as I was several paragraphs earlier, all I really want is the chance to wear a brand new pair of Lelli Kelly Shoes.