How many people do you meet in a lifetime?
Thousands?
Millions?
It’s a huge number, whatever it is. A city worth of people whose lives cross yours. A civilisation with you as its common factor.
An army, even.
Of all the people in the world – all those potential relationships – who is the most important to you?
Answer: you are.
It’s cheesy, I know, but your relationship with yourself really is the most important. You have more impact, more meaning and more influence over yourself than any of the people in your world.
When you trust yourself, your instincts are sharper. When you’re not fighting yourself, you radiate serenity. Everything in your life is improved by establishing rapport with your own mind.
Yes, even more than anyone with ‘power’ over you. No one has authority over you unless you agree to it.
So if you ever feel like you don’t matter… trust me, you do. You are so valuable to yourself. As a starting point, that’s not bad.
But so what? How can we use this idea?
If you think of yourself as another relationship, it highlights a few bad habits. The classic idea is that, for many people, their inner dialogue is harsh. It’s far crueller than anything they’d say to someone else.
And if someone spoke to you this way – what would you think of them?
Yeah, I wouldn’t like them either.
It’s funny that thinking of ourselves as others can inspire kindness and self-compassion. And this idea goes much deeper.
If you were to close your eyes and direct your attention inward, what would happen? What if you reached out and asked if anyone was home – who would respond?
Your unconscious mind loves symbols. It’s the part of you that dreams, after all. If you ask it for a symbol, there’s a good chance it’ll provide one. If you ask if anyone is there, it may just respond. Sometimes it’s immediate. Some people need practice. Stay with it, though, and it will happen.
Your relationship with your inner mind is just like any other. Have you spent years encouraging each other, trusting one another and expressing gratitude? Or have you ignored each other for long stretches of time, broken by hostility and complaints?
Don’t worry if your inner mind is… shall we say, ‘rude’ to you. Can you blame it? Like all relationships, you can repair it.
Imagine a relationship broken by years of neglect. What would happen if you showed up with a calm, accepting and compassionate attitude? What if you did this consistently? How will things improve if you make it clear that the relationship matters to you?
At first, your unconscious mind might not be kind in return. Don’t judge them for this – you’d act the same way in their shoes.
Being consistently warm and kind will win anyone over. Once your unconscious mind knows that you’ll listen, it will start talking to you again. All of your hunches, instincts and intuitions will come online with full power.
You can give no greater upgrade to your mind.